Words & Their Meaning

Old Life

2009-12-07T23:58:00.000+02:00

Sitting beneath bare skies

Counting stars at the bottom of a bottle

Strumming chords,

Waiting for the branches to bend

Words falling into laps

Like inheritance from God

At last a shadow appears

From among the chaos and ruin

A perfect little stone

Unmoved by the hand or throne

Collecting stars

From the bottom of a bottle

Kept safe, unhidden

In the soft flow of belly ache

That was an old life

Full of idleness, songs

& desperation

In a true dream

She counts herself to sleep

Backwards,

Until the numbers fade like stretched tape

Unable to escape

The cruel fate of one shut eye

He roamed like a wild boar

Digging in, piling on

Hating the sun

For its foresight of vision,

For its Sunday schemes

& Monday traditions

Songs crossed and circled,

Swam and slept

On willing laps

Adapted

For future decisions and

Past collective spats

On the promise of a flood

She drove herself wild,

Formed pools below her body

Which he bottled hurriedly

That was an old life

Full of Idleness and music,

Mystery and collapse,

A dance across the waist of a slim chance

Clothed in desperation,

Dressed to kill

Sunshine

2009-10-08T15:08:00.005+02:00

You came in on a storm by the foot of the bed

Undressed my ambitions and left them for dead

The city was proud and the building lay bare

As you crawled to the sea and flowed through my hair

I saw death in your eyes as you stared at the sun

The laws made a mess and then gravity won

You fell into my arms like a star on the run

I held you at peace like I did everyone

I sing songs about sunshine

You tell tales about air

I wait for the war and it’s not even near

I trace shadows with a finger until you’re no longer there

Then I forget who it was that I thought that I feared

Miles

2009-09-29T15:30:00.001+02:00

In my cruel slumber

I was the ghost of an old romantic
folk singer
who sang and wept for the ocean’s soft skeleton:
"Lord, my feet are so tired and there are miles to go"

On Language

2009-09-26T18:14:00.009+03:00

After us, the Flood

And whatever

Useless words

Hang from my mouth

Unpardoned

By my inability to express a single idea

Investments & Returns

Like some banker

Or how your eyes

Make me want to tear through your skin

Because desire aches

In all places

Still

The world moves in curves

And I study your shoulders and back

Consumed by nothing else

After us, the Flood

And I may be damned for thinking it

But your eyes

Oh, your eyes

Dance across the entire width of my imagination

Antique birth

To antique tongue -

I have yet to express a single idea

Will you hang me

From my mouth

With the very words

I am letting go of?

because of lifetimes of misinterpretation?

When my lungs are heavy

I sing

When desires shake me down

I write

But all the while

I desperately try to speak

To tame the animals that wrestle thoughfromareason

After me, you and

After you, the Flood

Because

There is something permanent in the temporary

Even if every single word begins to fail me

On language and other impossibilities -

Let me speak freely...

II.

When there is no point to center around

there is no geometry, no shapes, no theory, no evolution

no lines, no connections, no depth and no width

I have lost a certain

Something

Along the way to school

When houses catch fire

Outside what is inside

Reality unmasks fantasy

Words are the geometry of the mouth

Unpriced, inadequate

Desperately trying to lay shapes across an ear

I fear the Flood of lost intentions

Second guesses

Houses on fire

And the inside looking out

Of course,

None of this matters

To a house on fire

There are no brave alphabets

Or thoughts to express

Just shapeless, formless geometry

And I can't chase geometry forever

Away, because

The mind comes before the heart before the body

And I don't want to be a fool

The house is on fire

The curtains are burning

The beds are aflame

The circle keeps turning

Me off

And on

And off

And on

And off

And on

And off

And on and on and on and on and on...

III.

You love an idea

Infinite touches in dark places

An unguarded treasure

And other ones too

The laws are

Without teeth

Legless

Unable to outrun

Even a necessity

Dressed in the city's

White light

You love an idea

That never is

I called for your retreat

In every sleep

A guarded treasure

Without maps or legends

A fable

To carry us into

The white nights

Of servitude

Of error

Of guilt

New terror drills

its way inside

The city walls

Tonight

In the white lights

Of my fable

You love an idea

And hands clutching your throat

With nerve

And I am and am not that man...

IV.

Leapt from

Bed to bed

Without considering

The mess left

My name

Is a heavy name

And is burying me

Beneath it

Never stopped

Or thought

For a second

Which direction

Anything is spinning

I have abandoned

Reason

For no reason

Just

Like that

Is it too late

To stop fate

From fading?

The city of thought trails

Is sleeping tonight

And every night

Until the mind catches the body

Leapt from bed to bed

From debt to debt

Without once considering

Who was going to collect

Oh Calm Belly

2009-09-26T17:31:00.005+03:00

Oh calm belly of sorrow

Under blackened skies

And rolling ocean waves

Without a moon

Full or otherwise

I resign my debt to your agency

Oh calm belly of saddest songs

Will you ever write what you're supposed to?

Or will the flesh just have to do?

Oh calm belly of regretting you

I found silence to not be golden

Did we even speak that often?

Oh calm belly of a sleepless night

The angels were wrong

I guess you were right

If only I could sleep

I wouldn't have to write

Oh calm belly of all that's unsaid

What is left to say?

Oh calm belly in the eye of the apple

Will we ever be found again?

Under blackened skies

Between rolling ocean waves

Without a moon

Full or otherwise

I resign my debts to your agency

Oh calm belly of sorrow

11/2006

Widow Pain

2009-09-26T17:23:00.002+03:00

Like atom glass

On widow pain

The wind mills

Blow sun screen

In ice age

Collapse

I too

Must appear to crack

In thin pieces

In tiny spaces

Underneath the mirrored moon

How soon we forget

Everything we have

And have not

Or don't

Bad news

Is good news

When no news

Gets old

Like atom glass

Chipped away by slow decay

I too

Must appear to crack

As often as I have to

Definition

2009-09-26T17:18:00.002+03:00

Her definition was met with poor interpretation

Again I ask her

Again she answers

That nothing

Is wrong with the ceiling

Then why am I clinging

To scraps

That I'm dressed in

If nothing is wrong with the ceiling?

My husband is dead

I hear you confess

On the evening

You sent for me

So I sit and wait

I wait until I can't

Forgive you for wasting your breaths in my hand

I don't like an unfamiliar ceiling

And I sure as shit don't like what you've done to the room

Anyway

2009-09-26T17:11:00.006+03:00

I'm sitting here alone

Lonely

Thinking about he always

Sideways and backwards

Any way I can have her

She is caught in my eye

And stuck in my mind

Always

Every night

Every day

Any way I can have her

And as I sit here

Adjusting to my loneliness

Thinking about her

Any way I can have her

I can't stop thinking about her

And I've never stopped thinking about her

And I'll never stop thinking about her

Sideways and backwards

Every night and every day

Any way I can have her

The Facts Of History or The History Of Facts

2009-09-26T16:54:00.001+03:00

If I

Have ever told a lie

it was only to make you cry

Please understand,

I have few simple plans

Less complex than all your plans

I was born into a world

Unlike your own

Yet yours is the one that is theirs

The facts of history

Don't stand unless you hold them up

The history of facts

Is an artifact

No one pretends to grasp

No mirror

Can show honestly

Wants distort reflection

Reflection distorts the soul

etc.

Untitled

2009-09-26T16:50:00.002+03:00

Ask my teachers

They knew the outcomes

Interrogate my parents

Their sights were set

probe my ambitions

But they might not answer

Call me instead

You fucking coward

Twelve Pictures

2009-09-25T23:34:00.002+03:00

I'd say I have about twelve pictures of you

Two years feels like being late to dinner

Slightly uncomfortable

But far too easy to forget

You are just yesterday

And I've had many of those

Enough to teach me all I need to know

About abstinence

About silent agreements

About subtext

About ambitions in fleshy swimwear

I'd say twelve pictures

You'd probably say twenty-seven

Because He Is Reminded So Often

2009-09-25T23:21:00.003+03:00

Because he is reminded so often

That freedom is a price

and no one can breathe freely

Until the dove makes peace with war

So he destroys buildings

And rapes tax collectors

In his free time

Always reminded

That freedom is a weapon

Sharp and exact

About to carve along the throats

Of the non-believers

The daydream must be kept

The nightmare must be forced into exile

To remember

That freedom is the new style

And fashion has no opposition

Rabbit, Rabbit

2009-09-25T18:50:00.002+03:00

He dressed for the rabbits

Left in the passing months

Given up on luck and love

How did the year

Not end up in his favor?

Maybe he moved too slowly

Or thought too quickly

But he never wished for anything more

And never counted on rabbits

Or their curious superstitions

Ever again

Untitled

2009-09-25T18:46:00.004+03:00

My wife is an anarchist

The original architect of the movement

To separate sex

From sin

She makes more money than me

But I love watching her sharpen knives

In only her fashion

Her style

Leaves mine mangled

But I appreciate her devotion to the job

She never cooks

Doesn't clean

Armed past the teeth

Will her confidence

Allow me to stay young?

All My Friends

2009-09-23T17:16:00.008+03:00

All my friends are drunks &

I don't think I got it right

When I left the one who loved me

For the one I left behind

It's crazy to think

Disease, disease

All evidence is

Disease, disease

All my friends are hanging from

The muted sounds of false alarms

I may be too

I may be be one

I may have lost what I never found

Untitled

2009-09-23T17:06:00.005+03:00

I left the moon

Underneath the stars

And when I came back

I was drunk

I married the right woman

But in the wrong way

Now I'm sober & late for dinner

Kinky Town

2009-09-23T16:50:00.006+03:00

so i thought you couldn't really love,

don't make it easy, do you?

i caught you really not knowing what to do -

a nice & soft struggle into the earth.

so i heard you couldn't hide the sun for us;

don't try this stuggle

into the earth.

lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie, lie

la la lala la la lala lala la

i was sitting around,

they said "act like it counts."

what i got away with?

i was getting by

in the summer's sprinklers

i got away

i got byes

i got to get away without saying goodbye.

& bastard hears

could've used some help;

in kinky town

run down holy

you found me counting

escapes & misses;

i've not devoured

the bastard hears

you hold me close

in kinky town -

this is not a song for all ears.

this is all i'll send

crying here in your sleepy arms;

showed you the years &

the salty symphony of the sea,

will you remember me?

i spring after you.

bones, they grow over time

& i fear you won't come

clean the sea with me;

we've hunted for our battles

we've battled for our kills -

i kiss you in the windy towns of our birth.

they kept a mountain man

& they spent a man.

is this your easy airport?

is this you?

is this your town?

April Showers

2009-09-23T16:37:00.004+03:00

April showers

While I watch

My Old Wife

2009-09-23T16:35:00.002+03:00

My Old Wife is happy

To see me

Undress beneath the breezy sky

Watching the time slip & fall

Into yet another sweet spring

How to make a Winter Song

Sound happy

Is a mystery for the ages

Or ageless

Untitled

2009-09-23T16:30:00.003+03:00

My stomach is a balloon inflating

With shit & junk & fart fucking fuck!

Soon I won't see my dick

When I'm standing in the shower

If I Forget

2009-09-23T16:28:00.004+03:00

If I forget

How words are meant to dance across a white page

I want you to remind me

That I wasn't always ruined like this

Untitled

2009-09-23T16:27:00.007+03:00

You know what you want

You just don't know that you want it

Asia Minor

2009-09-23T16:24:00.004+03:00

Oh let the gentle rain wash the sky above
I fear then those hunters are looking for love
Too young she screams to let go of schemes
Too old I fear to lose sleep over dreams

Oh your Highness be just and let mercy leave your tongue
I fought all of them and I may have even won
I’m not an enemy of the people
I’m not a friend to the world
I’m a sunset made of armor
An imperial glow

Oh symmetric hearts and gilded hands
Magic’s not magic when it’s all that we have
Her new rising tide has come back from the war
The cities
The castles
Could we dare ask for more?

And eyes are made of memory and erased you all
The higher the ceiling the higher the fall
Too young she screams to let go of dreams
Too old I fear to suddenly appear unafraid
Grab the children
Bring the maid
Let’s leave this place
At once

(The sky, not so gentle, opens like a mouth)

So we knelt at the altar
Paid the church
Joined the choir
Raised our heavenly lips
Raised our broken-down hips
Sang our song
Read our prayer
Asked why hath we forsaken each other
My lover
My child
We were answered aloud:

A thousand sharp daggers cannot slit the throat of a ghost!

Are we loved all the same?
Should we pray again?
Oh the snakes
Slide past
Our path
Is crooked enough

My hands touched her fingers
My back bent like a willow
Will you let me go?
Will you let me know when?

If the eyes can see
Then the eyes can be deceived
Indeed
And often are

Even the Chief of Police hasn’t a clue

When did this body blossom and bloom?
Why have my memories burst so soon?
When did my life become this room?
When did this room become my tomb?

Even the chief of Police hasn’t a clue

My lover let’s dance
Until our feet become the floor

No one will follow us
Because no one will be able to trace our steps

Solitude and servitude

Why have we slept in distant beds?

Oh let the gentle rain wash the sky above
I fear that the hunters are hunting for love
Too young she said to give up these schemes
Too old I said to lose sleep over dreams

Goodnight my dear
Now that you are near
Sleep is much sweeter than sugar

(Then the sky let the Sun sleep too)

Witch Politics?

2009-09-23T16:23:00.004+03:00

We dream of foreign cities

Then we dream of walking away

No, I didn't see it coming

Sunday's just another day

The armies have armed & gathered

Now we just wait patiently

Yr not the one I'm after

The one I'm after is after me

Nostos Algos

2009-09-23T16:21:00.005+03:00

To serve my memory, destroy my home

Return to where I came from

To find

I'm lost

To find you

Clinging

Ideas &

Years,

Spent guesses and bottles of time,

Upside down

In stormy weather, in distress with fever

Against a plot so thick

A Russian could've written it

100 years ago, and for a hundred years

God Bless the best years

God Bless the sad songs

I'm off the street & running

Home, sick, and waiting

To serve my memory

To serve you a song

The Old Center

2009-09-23T16:18:00.006+03:00

My voice is worn to little pieces

At least I got paid when the parades came and went

My city streets are the walkways for crime

And passion, my dear, is a royal waste of time

I guess I confess that a heart breaks and breaks

& I guess that I miss the way your heart beats in time

I am the mountain in that town by the sea

You are the blue waves breaking against me

Sunshine and desert schemes mean the world to me

I am the storm that surrounds the old center

You are the dust of a diamond's laughter

To be old and kissed on the lips

To grow into a mighty vessel

I may not know the difference between black and brown

But I know 100% is enough to go around

When my song reaches your mouth

Please don't spit it out

I am the new Jazz

You are a long walk through the valley of the Sun

Elegy

2009-09-23T16:15:00.005+03:00

A passed friend

I lost his love to dust

And quiet concern

His throat closed

Like a budding rose

No song to sing it back

Instead of cheating maps

I sat and slept and wept

Unable to repent for the singer’s bitter end

The Winter Sound

2009-09-23T16:11:00.002+03:00

Who the hell made the winter sound

That swept the day away?

I tuned myself a half-step down

And strummed the blues away

No Winter

2009-09-23T15:43:00.002+03:00

I think I know,
I think I know;
How!
Just one year,
But a good one;
All Spring & NO WINTER
All Spring & NO WINTER

Untitled

2009-09-23T15:37:00.002+03:00

Of no spare parts
I've sold words
Like the ocean sells sand
& I've made beds
Sleep better than I ever did
But who was watching
When I stopped to rest?

Foxes

2009-09-23T15:27:00.003+03:00

If the air belongs to the high sweet night
My dear, you belong to the sea
If foxes belong to the company they keep
My dear, you belong with me